Tada! So was it worth waiting almost a week for your surprise?
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| See, the Gremlins can't wait for the Lightsabers. The blue and green weren't even "cracked" yet. |
Yes, I know I said it would be "tomorrow" but time is just relative after all, right? No? I, uh, got held hostage? OK, really, I was brought in on a super secret multi-governmental spy mission. Now, you must all die...FINE. Honestly, I dislocated my jaw and didn't feel like typing up a blog post. You'll like this one though. I mean who doesn't like Star Wars? Nope, La La La, I don't hear you.
Here's the deal. My nephew wanted a Yoda cake for his birthday. By the time he could walk my family was plotting to turn this innocent child into a member of the Nerd Army. We succeeded, BWHAHAHA. Being as I am the go-to cake person in the family I was tasked with making this happen. Well...simply put, I didn't feel like expending the time and energy needed to make a Yoda cake. [Read: I am lazy.] Therefore, my favorite, and only, nephew got a Star Wars cake instead. Here's the blow by blow, edited for your viewing pleasure of course.
Step 1 - Bake a cake to the specifications of an 8 year old. → "I want sprinkles inside" OK, confetti cake. "No, SPRINKLES - INSIDE" *sigh* OK, vanilla right? [now imagine the voice of someone speaking to something dumb and really slow (like a slug, or a rock)] "No Aunt, VANILLA BEAN, NOT plain VANILLA" *double sigh* What kind of icing, vanilla buttercream? "ummm, Lemon." What?! Have you ever had lemon icing? "Yes." And, you liked it? "Yes." OK. (yeah right)
Step 2 - Flip the hot cake (white, vanilla bean, confetti) out onto an aluminum foil-covered piece of cardboard while praying to the Cake Gods that when you flip it out of the pan the cake actually comes out instead of just hanging there, stuck, and then falling into 2 or 3 chunks. Let cake cool. Why cardboard you ask? Because my stupid, freaking, stupid, &@$#%, cake carrier was in my car - in another state.
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| Beautiful |
Step 3 - Make 4 cups vanilla buttercream, not lemon, frosting. Dye two-thirds blue and the rest black. Google antidote for transdermal poisoning.
Step 4: Pop the heads off of several Pez dispensers. Eat all of the Pez candy like a depraved crack addict, saving none for the kids.
Step 5: Mangle some perfectly good, holographic notepads.
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| yay for the $1 Target bins |
Step 6: Charge the nerdy men with creating Lightsabers using only glowsticks, duct tape, and Sharpies.
Step 7: Use the Force, Luke (and everyone else).
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| Notice the cake carrier? Yeah, that was fun to move. |
Step 8: Travel 100 miles and convince children that eating melted wax will not KILL them. Geez, when I was your age we ate cakes made out of dirt and rocks, decorated with acorns and twigs.
